ROME

Addiction: Training

Severity Level: 10

This kid’s addiction is nonstop! Here is a quick synopsis of a true BAMF:

Rome has been involved in Muay Thai, wrestling with a 4x Ukranian national champion plus a few world champions, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu since the age of 13. Last year he opened his Academy “On My Grind Mixed Martial Arts” (or OMG MMA) where he continues to do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling, and a variety of strength and conditioning.

When Rome isn’t in school he trains 2-3 times a day six days a week. He claims to “eat, live, sleep, and love jiu jitsu,” yet takes precautions to avoid injuries. Rome holds over 20 wins on the state, regional, national, and international circuits. His father is a master of sports in Greco Roman wrestling from Chechnya. Shit. You definitely don’t want to make either of these boys angry.

Rome’s gym is beginner friendly and offers various training courses for those trying to fight, get in shape, or just trying to do something rad. Contact Rome and mention this post for two weeks of training on the house! http://www.OMGMMA.com. Let’s be real you all need to work on your beach bods.

PARKE

Addiction: iPad

Severity Level: 9.5

Parke, the most technology-savvy 92-year-old you will ever meet, has one loyal friend always by his side: the iPad. If for some bizarre reason he is not on his iPad, you can either find him listening to Madonna on his iTouch, watching Fly Away Home on his “movie” iPhone, or making a call on his “cellular” iPhone. Has he purchased the iPad 2? Of course. Why he needs two iPads, two iPhones and an iTouch still blows my mind. Parke does suffer from iPad separation disorder so please be kind when borrowing. I give him a 9.5 because his typing skills are atrocious (he claims the keyboard is too small for his fingers). I have proof of this in his two emails below. Because he is camera-shy I had to sneak a phone pic when he was consumed in his most recent purchase, the iPad “Heart Pro” app.

JONATHAN

Addiction: Tattoos

Severity level: 8

Jonathan has been getting tattooed since he turned 18 and he’s not stopping anytime soon. His severity level will remain an 8 until he runs out of canvas…stay tuned for body art updates on this babe magnet.

1. First tattoo? My first tattoo was on the back of my left arm and it’s the American Nightmare logo. I got it because at the time they were pretty much one of my favorite bands.

2. How many do you have? Im not quite sure how many I have but pretty much besides a few spots on my left arm and then my back, my entire upper body is covered.

3. Any regrets? I would like to say I have some regrets on some of my tattoos, however I don’t really regret anything. I would say that I wish I would have chosen different things but then again when I got them it was a part of my life, and it’s cool to see how I’ve changed just based off my tattoos.

4. Which is your favorite? My favorite would have to be either my mom tattoo of an apple with a worm coming out of it sitting ontop of books because she is a teacher, or my stomach.

5. Who’s the artist? I have been tattooed by about 4 different people but from 18-20 the same guy did my chest and right arm, and since then pretty much the same person did my left arm shoulders and stomach.

6. Any plans for more? I will definetly get more tattoos, I haven’t gotten one in about a year because I have yet to figure out what it is I want next.

ANASTASIA

Addiction: Mascara

Severity level: 10

You can’t miss these killer eyeballs on the streets of NYC. Their beauty literally puts Twiggy’s to shame. The culprit? Loads and loads of mascara. We’re talking several pounds a week. On a typical day both Anastasia’s bottom and top lashes are coated with 8 to 10 layers. She even applies a primary layer consisting of a white conditioner that nourishes and thickens the lashes. I happened to catch Anastasia on her so-called “lazy day.” Because her mascara application process is extremely meticulous, “lazy” means she gives her bottom lashes a break. If for some reason she’s completely absent of her addiction, Anastasia will hide behind her ray-bans until she’s able to get her hands on more of this deadly drug.

MATTHEW

Addiction: Seinfeld

Severity level: 10

Meet Matthew. Who would have thought a show about nothing could bring such satisfaction to a 25-year-old? The introduction to his interview quickly digressed to an impersonation of Seinfeld’s stand-up comedy. It became so lengthy and descriptive to the point where it was almost unbearable– I had to cut it. See below for his themed bathroom.

ALLIE

Addiction: Her Boyfriend

Severity level: 7

Allie has an outlandish obsession with her boyfriend, Jake. A sneak peek of her room will certainly hit you with an intense wave of nausea. Although Jake resides in Illinois and Allie in Virginia, she doesn’t miss a beat to either text, call, video chat, or hop on the next flight to be with her long lost lover. She sleeps in his tees and houses his shoes so that his familiar stench forever lingers in her room. Good luck you two.

JAMES

Addiction: The Washington Redskins

Severity level: 7

Regardless of how embarrassing the skins are, this guy is forever a fan both on and off season. James’ house is engulfed in Indian head paraphernalia as he drags the innocent family dog down with him. Holding annual season tickets and perfect attendance at FedEx Field, James is your typical asshole who participates in alcohol-fueled debauchery at every game. He never ceases to lose a drunken brawl in defense of his all-time favorite team. Hail to the Redskins.